Living: Breath To Breath
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had made different choices. I suppose I am just like anyone else that has entered mid-life. At this point, the decisions I made in the past are defining my present life. I am rolling with the good and bad choices of my youth. Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I feel stuck on this course and there is no turning back now. The ball is heavy and it's gaining momentum as it rolls down this hill. It feels impossible to change it's course. Am I happy with the way my life has turned out? Would I change some things, if I could? Yes and yes.
I look into the future as far as my eyes can see and I can't see anything. Only each day, breathe in breathe out. There is anticipation and excitement, I'm not afraid of the future, whatever it may be. Good or bad, I know that even bad can be good, in the end. Maybe I'm fearless because I know that God will not forsake me. The question is, will I be able to stay the course?
The temptations I face are like tsunami waves these days, which according to some, are a sign that I'm doing something right and the enemy is pissed off about it. I am not convinced of that theory yet. I probably should be, but I just don't see myself as that much of a threat to Satan's throne and dominion. I pretty much just go from breath to breath, mistaking my way down the road of life, one fumble at a time. Why should I be a threat? But these temptations to do what I know to be wrong make me feel distant and far far away from my God. And I have to wonder, when do temptations actually give birth to sin? I just want to know exactly where the line is, so that I can stand right up, toes touching, and not actually cross. Yep, that's me. Always.
Brian's parents will be here next week. We get them for six weeks this year. Yay!!! I love having them around. I happen to have awesome in-laws, for which I am very grateful. Some people have difficulty weaving into their spouse's family. Winnie and Bill have always loved and accepted me, no matter what. They are my role models for how I want to be towards my children as they start their own families. They are supportive, generous and kind and they have always respected our decisions, even when they do not agree.
Sierra's baby is 20 weeks in her womb this week. We found out that 'it' is a he. A boy! Imagine that. We were all expecting a girl because, well, that's what we expect around here. Growing up with 7 sisters and 2 brothers, we are just good at girls. It looks as if the future has many surprises for us. A boy. A grandson, a nephew, a son. He is already surrounded by a bunch of people that are crazy about him, I'm not sure how this is going to go exactly, with all of us jostling each other to hold him all of the time. He probably won't touch the floor until he's two. Sierra is doing well. She is into the fun part of her pregnancy. Morning sickness is over and she is happy.
House projects, yard work, berry picking, jam making, beach time, lots and lots of beach time I hope, traveling, family visits, friends visiting, meeting new people, gardening, bike riding, late night walks, early morning sun rises, dandelions, open windows, fresh cut grass, fresh cut flowers scattered in vases throughout the house, salty ocean hair, sand between my toes, picnics, parties, cars driving by with windows down and music blaring, flip flops, watermelon, watering the garden in the early morning, fighting the noseeums, afternoon naps with a breeze blowing the curtains and sunshine. These are the days of summer. I love them.
I'm going to make fresh king salmon, smash hot potatoes (I didn't name them) and a salad with homemade ranch dressing for dinner tonight. I found the recipe for smash hot potatoes in one of my Pioneer Woman cookbooks. I love her recipes. The ranch dressing I just kind of made up and it's really good, it's pretty too. King Salmon is best when you cook it hot and fast. I cook it at 550 degrees on the top rack of the oven for about 15 minutes. It's delicious and perfect every time.
I thought I would share my ranch dressing recipe with you.
Gather your ingredients:
I use all organic ingredients.
a clove of garlic
fresh ground black pepper
fresh cut chives, with the flowers if they are flowering
and a one pint mason mason jar.
Fill your mason jar about 1/2 of the way with plain yogurt, add about 3 tablespoons of chopped parsley, 3 tablespoons of chopped chives, green part and purple flowers, 1 minced clove of garlic, squeeze the juice from a wedge of your lemon, a pinch of cayenne, salt and fresh ground pepper to taste.
Put on the lid and shake it well. Taste and add more of whatever you think it needs. This stays good in the fridge for about a week. And is delicious on everything.
I owned every second that this world could give.
I saw so many places the things that I did
With every broken bone,
I swear I lived.
Happy summer evening to you friend. I'm off for a walk along the ocean shore.