Showing posts from May, 2014

He Gets Me

I love Jesus.
His ways are scandalous compared to what we experience in the average church. He is a revolutionary. He is not bound by a set of dead rules. He doesn’t do it the way we’ve always done it. His love is truly amazing. He came to give sight to the blind, to set the captives free, to bind up the broken. He came for the lost, the hurting and the ones that don’t have it all together. He came to give hope to the weak, the sad and the lonely. He came to forgive our mistakes, big mistakes even. He didn’t come to call the righteous, and not the ones who think they are healthy, but those who know that they are sick. He is a Savior. He came to save us from the mess we have made of our lives. He came to those who will be honest and admit their weakness, their failures, their imperfections and their sin. This is me, and this is why I love him, because he first loved me. Jesus is not looking down on us. He is looking straight into our eyes.His hand is gently holding my chin, lifting my…


It has been awhile since I have participated in Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of free writing with a one word prompt. There is a whole community of lovely writing women that gather every Friday to share their quick unedited heart felt words. It is a lovely corner of the internet. Please take a moment to stop by and visit some of these sweet sisters here: FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY.
Today's word is close.
CloseThis word makes my heart skip, leap and dance,  forsaking safety and steady rythym.  Thoughts of you occupy my mind. You have seized my heart like a rushing river  overflowing it's banks. Captivated by your eyes, you are close and  I forget how to breathe. Renee

Some Things I've Learned

I am sitting in my favorite rocking chair, it squeaks a little when you rock it. This old chair has served me well. We have spent many midnight hours together, rocking little ones. Middle of the night nursing hours spent gazing in awe at the little person in my arms. This chair has also supported me, as I felt the motion of the rocking, trying to ease the raw pain I felt as my hungry baby ferociously latched on to my very sore breasts. With clenching teeth, I learned to lay down my life for the life of my child. Some nights, this chair rocked and soothed me as I silently cried, sobbing big drops falling on the bundle in my arms, tired, exhausted beyond anything I ever imagined, silently crying, and learning yet even more intimately, how to lay down my life for another. Those moments, in the dark, rocking my suckling babes, I learned love.

Washing the dishes, changing diapers, scrubbing the floor, wiping fingerprints and permanent marker and melted crayons in the dryer. Sleepless week…

A Mother's Plea

A picture of my morning.

I hear myself sighing "Whaaaaat?" as my name is called over and over and over, it feels endless, the amount of times 'mom' can be used before 9am on a Saturday morning. I'm tired. I slept well enough last night. It's not a physical tired, because I feel like I could walk out the door and walk for miles, and miles, and miles.....not looking back. The tired I'm experiencing is in my mind. It is a weary tired, A tired of..........

And my son comes running in the house, "Mama!! Mama!! Mama!!" All the way from outside I hear him yelling. "I caught something!! Mama!! IS IT A DRAGON FLY?!!" I caught it!!" This tired Mama sees his excitement and recognizes that of all people, I am the one he wants to share his discovery with, and rather than feeling excited with him, I acknowledge his great find with all of the excitement I can muster, and then tell him, "OK, now go play outside." My reaction to him is …

Without Answers

I respond to kindness and attention. When someone is kind to me, I like that. When someone is interested in me, I get kind of crazy with delight. Is everyone like this? I just today realized this about myself. And I wonder if I'm starving for attention. Which makes me wonder if we are all starving for attention. I am going to try to be extra kind to someone this week, I'm going to try to be genuinely interested in someone and see what happens. Kind of Jesus-like I suppose.

Christianity is messed up.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I don't belong.....anywhere. Did I ever? We push and squeeze and lie to ourselves trying to make the dress fit. The truth is, it doesn't fit and it isn't even my style, it's ugly. 
One size fits all Christianity is a lie. We are one body with many parts. Not only can a hand not say to a foot that I have no need of you, it also can't say, be like me, do what I do. 
For so long I have tried...... Tried.
Jesus says, "Stop tryi…