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Showing posts from July, 2013

This Is Not Church

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The disciples were astounded.  "Then who in the world can be saved?" they asked
Jesus looked at them intently, and said, 
"Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God. Mark 10:26-27

Early one morning this week I read the above passage. I closed my eyes and pictured myself among Jesus' disciples. Jesus was looking at me, intensely. My heart thundered in my chest as I lifted my head to meet his gaze. I looked straight into his eyes. He was looking into my eyes and I knew he knew, everything.
He has known me forever. In that moment my soul recognized him. I felt a rush of adrenaline, as I stared deep into his eyes.His gaze melted me. I was wobbly kneed and shaking inside. His love is so great that I felt like I couldn't receive all that he gave. It was personal, very close, and more intimate than I have ever been, with anyone. This is a love I have never known. In that moment I was completely vulnerable. He saw me. Everythi…

Desperate

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The circumstances of my life last week left me clinging to the cross so tight that I am still picking splinters out of my hands/my heart. You can do all of the right things, say all of the prayers, make all the sacrifices, but in the end, you're not, and never have been, in control. This I learned the hard way, which unfortunately for me is the way I learn best.

Twenty years ago:

The moment I saw those little pink lines my future was decided for me. I was going to have a baby, I was a mother. Every decision of my life since then has been determined by how it will affect my children. I like to think that I am a pretty good mother. I carry my children on my heart 24/7. I am now forty and I have nine children. My oldest daughter is nineteen and my baby boy is just about four. I have literally sacrificed my life for my children. My heart beats for them, their needs are my highest priority in life.

Back when I had three children under 5, an older man at church gave me some parenting/d…

Please Don't Hate Me

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The world can't hate you,  but it does hate me  because I accuse it of doing evil.  John 7:7
Jesus spoke those words to his unbelieving brothers.

Jesus accused the world of doing evil. He spoke up. He told the truth. And the world hated him.

Wait.

Who hated him?

I thought it was the world that followed him wherever he went. The world that he came to heal and to save. The world that crowded him into a boat, that pressed in on him so hard in the streets, just longing to touch him and be healed. The constant cry for help that caused him to need to go apart and rest awhile. The world, the sinners, the reprobates, the diseased, the lepers, the tax collectors, the pagans, the lost, the hurt, the blind, the needy, the adulterers, the liars, the whores, the outcasts. I thought it was the world that he impacted so hard. The world that he turned upside down to make it right. The people in the world that he loved so well and that loved him back. (You can read about all of this in the Gospels)

W…

Beautiful

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It's Five Minute Friday time! This weeks word is beautiful. You can learn all about this FMF thing over here. Join us if you'd like, it's fun and comfortable and everyone is accepted. It's a place to just be, no over-thinking and trying to impress, just be and just write for five minutes. It's nice. It's beautiful.


Beautiful


Beautiful is a relative word. Beauty can be found in so many places. You can discover beauty in the ugliest places. Actually beauty is in the hard real true and ugly. I find the most beauty in honesty. When a person is willing to be real, to be honest and be human it brings out the most beauty I have ever seen. Relationships are beautiful. Trust, give, take, letting go of the walls and the trying to impress, and just being. Family is beautiful because it starts here. Family is. Is beautiful . Is... is beautiful. To be, is beautiful. Sincerity is beautiful. Love without hypocrisy is beautiful. Beauty comes from within as does the gross ugly.…