Just Being Honest

I am stepping into dangerous territory today, well, a lot lately. It's just that I get it. I get it. I see why so many young people are leaving the church. I see it happening all around me, and frankly, to tell you the truth, sometimes I'd like to go with them. I'm telling the truth here. I am not going to lie to you. This writing thing, if nothing else, it is the nakedness of my soul. I'm telling the truth.

I feel trapped in a system and I want out, but I don't want out, I just want out.

I am lost in this religion. I read about Jesus, I read His words about following Him and loving like Him and living like Him. I read about brothers and sisters and I wonder, is this it? I read about unity and love and forgiveness and I wonder. I read about the body, the intimate connection of the body and I wonder if we are even alive, because we are so disconnected. Yet, like Peter, I am saying, 'where should I go Lord? You alone have the words of eternal life.' I know Christianity is it, is right. There is no leaving the faith.

I am afraid, again. Writing this scares me. I'm telling you how I really feel behind this 'I'm fine' plastic smile. I can play the game pretty well. I know you can too. This 'I'm fine' attitude fills our churches and scares away our young people. Young people that really are not fine, because they are growing up and growing up is hard. They see through it all. All of it.

If we were living the gospel, do you think this would be an issue? Going to church on Sunday or if your really committed maybe you go on Wednesday too, IS NOT ENOUGH. I know I'm not alone in this church lifestyle, but I might be alone in admitting there is a problem. I was once upon a time very happily comfortable in my cozy church life. That is until I started tracking Jesus in a serious way. Now, I cannot justify what I have made of this thing called Christianity. I know that I have to change, but I don't know how.

We are broken. The church is broken. God! We need to be broken, but we are not the right kind of broken.

And the question is....... Are we going to be a part of the fixing or not?

Just being honest,



Oh I so love it when you are brave and honest my friend! Yes - broken indeed... and yet the church is us... we are broken... I remember years ago (maybe 5 now?) when I was asking the Lord what is wrong with the Church... His answer then -well, sometimes He likes to play with words with me - but He 'quoted' (can He do that? Can HE quote others?) - His answer to me was this: The church is broken because we treat it like it's not personal... it's just business. But with God everything should be personal! So how i intend to fix it is to be more personal - more relational - more Real and more willing to actually honestly invest... and yes - I believe God quoted the Godfather... which - you know - is pretty funny since He is God the Father and all!
Tracy said…
Yes Karrilee! I agree! It is personal, it is relational. If we do not invest in each others lives, if we do not love one another as we love ourselves then we will continue to be broken. We will not be effective. All's you need is an open loving home, open loving arms, open loving ears that are available to listen when someone is hurting and they will come. My home is filled with hurting, lonely, confused, unvalued young people. They flock here! It is incredible! I can't even comprehend it but the Lord is bringing them. They want to feel important, they want to feel like they matter and when they are given the chance to feel like they have worth then they so easily except the love that Jesus has to offer.
Lisa Bishop said…

This is EXACTLY why I write everyday at quietlyworded.com!

I live in the "Bible Belt" and there is a church on every corner with plenty in between. This creates a false front. It's all about appearance.

Your desire for "out" is God's personal invitation for you to enjoy and worship Him and to live in the flow of His genuine love. IT IS OKAY TO DISAGREE WITH SYSTEM. Faith is all about marching on into His unknown.

On March 20th, my blog post was titled "Healing Words About Church Abuse" @ quietlyworded.com. Maybe my words could be your friend. Trust me, you are not alone.

But I will shout a hallelujah to our more-than-wonderful God--I am FREE from the ball and chain of religion! Jesus has convinced me (see Rev. 3:19) that relationship is far more important, far more God-honoring, far more hospitable toward others, and far more delightful! I have had to make some tough moves in old relationships. But Scripture has aided me with simple words like "quietly withdraw" (Mark 6:11, MSG).

Press on through this tough spot by grace through faith and into the freedom God has for you. You will splash genuine love onto others as a result!

Thank you for being real! It is scary territory. But, oh, so worth it!

Lisa Bishop
Unknown said…
Dear Renee
I have left organized religion about two years ago after I suffered incredible spiritual abuse from especially the leadership of the church I attended. I have grown so close to the Love of my life, our sweet Lord Jesus ever since. He has healed my heart and I am joyfully walking with Him everyday of my life. I also write about everything I went through and my journey into the life of Christ Jesus. I want to invite you to visit my blog. I think you might just find answers to your a few of those deep nagging questions in your heart. I personally think that our Pappa God is putting it in your mind, allowing you to become hungry for the wonder that is God.
Blessings and love to you
Elizabeth said…
I clicked on this link after reading your June 7 Five Minute Friday post. I have been struggling with this same struggle for the last couple of years. We left our church home of 10 years last June for several reasons including the lack of meaningful teaching and the hollow churchiness that seemed to prevail.
As we search for a new church, looking for deep and meaningful preaching and worship and outreach to the community - not just the church body, we are discouraged by what we are finding.

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