In. The. Same. Way.

I recently joined an (in)-courage community that is focusing on being Proverbs 31 women. Specifically, we are encouraging one another to pray for our husbands. Having a 'not quite perfect' husband, I was all in. I have been married long enough to know that I am NOT going to change my husband. Only God can do that. As I feebly began to some days remember to pray, God began taking my seemingly small and insignificant prayers to a new level. He began to work in me, not  my husband. Low and behold, it is perfect little me that really needs the adjustment. The following is a little bit of how it is going so far...

In the same way.......
I wonder how many of us know where I am going here? In. The. Same. Way.

Does that sound familiar to you? I have skipped over those words numerous times in my endeavor to be a godly wife. Brushed right past them on my way to the 'meat' of scripture. Many, many times have I come to the following verses for strength, structure and guidance in my quest for biblical womanhood. I would call these my 'go to' verses when counseling fellow wives. But, you know how it is when you read something and suddenly the Holy Spirit acts as a divine highlighter? Suddenly you are aware that your heart is thumping against your chest, your hands are clammy and breathing is coming in shallow gasps. An 'ah ha' moment? And Yweh is speaking directly to you??? This I would like to share with you all. One of 'those' moments.

Lately I have been in a ditch off to the the left of the narrow way. Bumped off the highway just enough to begin to lose my way. It is hard to pin point where it started, where I began to veer to the left, but suddenly after not too long I found myself stuck in some pretty miry clay. But, Hallelujah! He brought me out of the miry clay! He set my feet on the Rock! And it is from on top of this boulder that I am proclaiming to you the danger lurking on your left. Take heed my friend.

God has blessed me to be a wife. In so many ways my relationship with my husband has brought me closer to my Savior.

The man God chose for me is a strong leader. He is direct and to the point. He doesn't mince words, He says what he means, sometimes in not so gentle ways. He is a shepherd and carries a lot of people on his heart. His life is very full ministering to the needs of others, and sometimes I long for his attention. A turning point in our marriage came when I began to realize that I will stand before Jesus at the white throne judgement and I will give an account of myself, not my husband, to Jesus. How did I live out my role as a help-meet? This changed me. I am accountable to God for my side of this marriage. This truth opened my eyes to understand that I derive my security from Jesus, not my husbands approval. That sounds rebellious doesn't it? Well, it isn't meant to. What I am trying to express is that my thin skinness towards my husband because of his short comings is nothing less than sin. I am accountable to God for my reactions to my husband.

So, I have all of this heart changing knowledge and life is good , right? hmmm....

I don't know what it is about this flesh of mine that just wont stay dead! Did I hit my head somewhere along the way? Because sometimes I am so prone to forget. This beautiful truth that I have lived and walked and skipped through life living, and here I am learning it all over again? What is wrong with me????

I found myself making a list of all of the things about my husband that I just can't live with anymore this week. Can you believe this? All of the ways he hurts me, without realizing it. How can he be so callous, right? 'Feeling' (sometimes that is a very dangerous word) very smug and sure of myself. Demanding that he change, or else.... Oh what a fool I have been. Playing right along with the piper's tune at the gates of hell. Thank you Jesus for salve that anoints our eyes to see.

In. The. Same. Way.

Get out your Bible and read 1 Peter 2:18 all the way through to 1 Peter 3:6 (verse 7 is not written to you, so don't start justifying your actions by that!)

Did you notice that little bridge there that connects the part about slaves to the part about wives?

In. The. Same. Way.

Wives ARE NOT slaves. But, as wives, if we have a husband that is less than perfect, we are to submit to their authority just as a slave would to a less than perfect master. Our accountability is to God. He is the One we are pleasing, not our husbands. (*I  know that there are very ungodly men out there and I am not saying we should submit to demented cruel men.) Most of us are not anywhere near that in our relationships with our husbands. Thank God. If you are in an abusive relationship, by all means, please seek help. The majority of us are just plain selfish.

So I beg the question, one that the Lord posed to me this week, are we walking in Love with our husbands? Are we doing our side of this marriage? Where are we focusing? How about our vision? Our perception? Have we removed the logs out of our own eyes through repentance? That is where the rubber hit the road for me this week. Humbling myself before my husband and admitting my proud selfish attitude to him and seeking his forgiveness. Amazing how God turns the tables back on us, isn't it?

 Love is patient
Love is kind
Not jealous, boastful, proud or rude
Does not demand its own way
Is not irritable
Keeps no record of being wronged
Does not rejoice about injustice
Rejoices when the Truth wins out
NEVER gives up
NEVER loses faith
is always hopeful 
endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7



Linking with Ann , Shari and Denise today.


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