Bitter Sweet Elation

I wrote this after experiencing persecution for the first time. It was a very humbling experience.

Sharing, ever so slightly, in the sufferings of Christ.
The pain – hurt in the very core of being. Ridiculed, laughed at, scorned.
Glory! Can it be that I have finally experienced a taste of the suffering of Christ?

Small  significance in the eyes of my Lord.

I have often wondered about these verses that don’t apply to my life, my experiences. Share in the sufferings of Christ? Count it all joy when men revile you and cast insults at you?

..but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ.......... 

1Peter 4:14
..that I may know Him , and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings
being conformed to His death. 
Philippians 3:10
Blessed are those who have been persecuted  for the sake of righteousness.............
Matthew 5:10
God blesses you when people
mock you and persecute you and lie about you 
and say all sorts of evil things against you 
because you are My followers
Matthew 5:11-12
Be happy when you are insulted for being a Christian, 
for then the glorious Spirit of God rests upon you. 
1Peter 4:14
For the more we suffer for Christ, 
the more God will shower us with His comfort through Christ. 
2Corinthians 1:5

I have wondered about and mostly dreaded experiencing persecution, ridicule and scorn for this faith that I hold so tight, so close, in the fibrous soul of my being. This faith that states;

“In Him you live and move and have your being”
Acts 17:28

The essence of me, being formed and found in Jesus Christ. I have died to myself, been born again, made alive, made new, in Him.

Christ who is our life, my life 
Colossians 3:4

In him I live and move and have my being. Yes, I take this very personal. Yes, my faith means something to me. Yes, it is my life. He is my life. Scorned, laughed at, ridiculed……

Heckling sword - piercing -  my fragile clay heart.

Never have I experienced this kind of hurt and betrayal. Ridiculing. Sharpened swords of hatred aimed straight into my essence. Laughing at my Lord, laughing at me.

My flesh cries out! I want to scream, to lash out with my darting quick tongue. To defend. To fight. To cry…….plead………beg.

Won't you wake up? Can't you see? Why are you saying these untruths? What happened to you? Please, please listen.....

The emotions, the surge, the flood, the sadness overwhelms me. The crying comes like a flood.

Careless words come over the hackles of a dying soul. 

Dying to her grave set ablaze by brimstone itself.

Deceived and deceiving. Blind.    2Corinthians 4:1-7

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies,
but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world,
against mighty powers in this dark world,
and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12

Deceived and deceiving. Blind.    2Corinthians 4:1-7

Persecuted, ridiculed, scorned, laughed at…..

Count it all joy…..


Oh Lord, finally I have tasted. Finally I have shared ever so slightly in Your sufferings. I am coming to You now for healing, for restoration, for understanding, perception. I want to see and understand 'loglessly' Lord. To step away from my feelings so tightly wound in this knotted ball knees to chest fetal position. I come to You Lord Jesus to undo this knot. Set me free.

Setting free, untying, unraveling my flesh. Separating the strands of flesh and spirit. Setting me free….Healing by the sword.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword,
and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit,
of both joints and marrow,
and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

Something begins to change as I look to Jesus. A familiar yet different feeling. Sorrow mingled begins to build, a joy I have never experienced. The Word of God is coming alive in me….. I am beginning to understand. Consider it all joy……the emotions, the surge, the flood, the joy overwhelms me.  From within, a dawning realization as the Son of Righteousness begins to rise in my heart……

I have felt Your pain. Closer now. I am closer to Your heart. You were rejected and despised and ridiculed and laughed at and spit upon and beaten and worse. This tiny event, really is significant, I am learning to know You in Your sufferings. I am knowing You. You are revealing yourself to me, in me, in a deeper way.  I consider it all joy..........

The Father who knows all hearts
knows what the Spirit is saying,
for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good
of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.
Romans 8:27-28

I am still hurting. The ache in my heart is still very raw. I am looking to Jesus to heal this pain. The One who sets the captives free and heals broken hearts. I am learning to love through the hurt and to walk brokenhearted. Entrusting myself to Him who judges righteously.

It is essential that we take our experiences in this life and find them in the Word of God. It is the only way  to perceive clearly and to make sense in this fallen deceived world we live in.

It is also essential to take the hurt and give it to the Lord who will heal and restore, as soon as possible. Do not let a root of bitterness begin to form. Let go of the hurt and walk forgiven and free as you forgive.

To walk forgiven we must forgive. 

Taste and see that the Lord is good.
so so good.


A new boldness is shaping inside this lion heart.

Proverbs 28:1

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