Losing Myself

I have been reflecting lately. Who am I? Or better yet, where did 'I' go? So much has changed about me since I fully surrendered my heart and life to God. Surprising revelations around every corner. Every turn is so full of amazing changes. I honestly am beginning to wonder who I am. I was once fairly sure of myself and solid in my opinions. Now, well now I am beginning to understand what Jesus meant when He said,

"He who has found his life shall lose it, 
and he who has lost his life for My sake 
shall find it." 
Mathew 10:39

"For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; 
but whoever loses his life for My sake 
shall find it. 
Mathew 16:25

"For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; 
but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's 
shall save it." 
Mark 8:35

"Truly, truly, I say to you, 
unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, 
it remains by itself alone; 
but if it dies, 
it bears much fruit. 
He who loves his life loses it; 
and he who hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal." 
John 12:24-25

Lose my life? I often have pondered that statement. How does one actually go about losing themselves? I think I am finally starting to get it, and it is so totally out of my control that it is sometimes a bit unnerving. Giving God the reins to my life is very much a complete walk of faith. Instead of planning my future I am learning to rest in God's plan as He reveals it. And He is so true to His Word. He truly does give us abundantly more than we could ever ask or think! Ephesians 3:20  And definitely more than we deserve.

A season of discovery is upon me. Wife, mother, me............

The thought occurred to me today. I am a mother of nine wonderful delicious lovely darling extra special children. I am a wife to one strong, protective, hard working, wise and passionate man. In these two I have found a safe place to abide. A refuge. My eyes are beginning to open to the idolatry of my heart. Finding security in anything other than Jesus Christ amounts to idolatry. For all of my life as a child of God I have shared the throne of my heart with my husband and children. I have relied on them to define who I am in Christ. As I am discovering what it means to lose myself, my life, to Jesus, I am dethroning everything that threatens His lordship of my life. Relying on anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ for my security and identity is idolatry .............

Someone new is emerging from this complete surrender to God. I am losing myself and becoming acquainted with a new and vibrant self. Christ in me! The hope of glory!

As I have given God ALL of me, He has been slowly, patiently, revealing the inconsistent and ungodly requirements that I have placed upon myself in HIS name. The freedom that Christ has set us free for is unlike any 'godly' requirement I have ever known. God's love is so totally amazing, and truly incomprehensible. I am loved! I am loved for none other than me! That baffles me. That single fact fills my heart with so much love. We love Him because He first loved us, right? Well, it is even more than that. Lately He fills me with this love for humanity that I have never known. God is truly amazing and so so so good! How does He do it? How does He change us so?

However He does it, He does. It is throughout His Word, His dependable, trustworthy, Word, that He does not have favorites. Jesus died for ALL, so that all might be saved. All of us have the opportunity to believe and be saved. To be the recipient of this amazing incomprehensible totally pure love.

EVERYONE who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13

I want to encourage you to place your heart and your life in God's loving hands. It is a love like no other. You do not need to hold anything back. You can trust Him with your entire being. All of the things that you are ashamed of, all of the regrets. He accepts you right now. You don't need to become acceptable to Him. You already are. Start off where it took me 16 years to find, completely surrendered to His will for your life. I know that you will never regret what you leave behind. God will fill you and flow through you. And the freedom He offers you .............. try it.

And if you are long down the road of salvation, but know there must be more, I really want to encourage you to completely surrender yourself and your life to God. It is in this surrender that I began to lose myself. It is in this surrender that Jesus found me and is making me into someone I am beginning to love. He has begun a new work in me. Philippians 2:13 He is molding me into His image. How can we not but love Jesus in us? I'm telling you, His ways are definitely not our ways. He makes all things new. Is making me, is changing me, is awing me with His Love.

Let God transform you into a new person............Romans12:2

Grace to you friend,


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