Truth?

I would like to invite you to take a walk with me.

Show me the right path, Oh Lord;
Point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by Your Truth and teach me.
Psalm 25:4-5


Satan snuck in the backdoor last week. He got me. Ouch! Blinded by pride, I stumbled and finally bit the dust. Ouch. God is so gracious though. He stooped down with an outstretched hand and lifted me from the dust. Dust? Yes, the Well had all but run dry. The Well!! The one I've been bragging about now for months. The one that is like a geyser in my soul. That very same. I am so ashamed to say that I found myself so parched these past few weeks that I could barely write. Parched and blinded. Pride is an evil evil thing to carry around in the heart.

Guard your heart above all else, 

for it determines the course of your life.

Proverbs 4:23


In the ugliness of my pride I began holding grudges, allowing bitterness to seep in to my heart. Resentment started stacking up, fortifying the hardening walls of my heart. I found myself very unhappy in my marriage. Judging my husband and justifying myself. Listening to the enemy of my soul as he twisted the truth. He wasn't exactly whispering lies. No, he knows I wont listen to blatant lies, so he very cleverly, very craftily helped me to see the truth in an untrue way. Satan's schemes are well thought out. He tells us the ugly truth about those he is trying to divide us from. He is the accuser of the brethren. He accuses with truth. We need to be alert and awake to recognize his schemes. It is what we do with that truth that determines the course of our life. Do we let it fester and divide? Or do we offer forgiveness. Forgiveness not based on merit, but based on what Jesus Christ has done for us, and what He now expects us to freely share.


If you forgive those who sin against you, 

your heavenly Father will forgive you.


But of you refuse to forgive others, 

your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15



One morning this week I opened my eyes to find God breaking down those hard and fortified walls with a tenderness only He is capable of. Showing me with the greatest care and love where I was wrong. It started with these words, "be tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as Christ forgave you" Ephesians 4:32  I suddenly realized that my heart was far from tender, it was as hard as stone. I looked across the room to my husband and the layers of jealousy, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness were all there, right before the eyes of my heart. And I was given a choice. Continue on this hard road or repent. I looked up to Jesus, desperate to feel like repenting. I knew what I needed to do, but I really didn't feel it. I was shown the Truth, yet seeing the Truth did not set me free. 

I silently prayed for a miracle in my heart.

" Please God! I need You to change my heart! I am so far out of the way, I want to come back, really I do. Please show me the way." I prayed.

"Humble yourself, repent, ask your husband for forgiveness."


As I heard those words in my heart I had a recollection of the past couple of nights praying with my son. Lately he starts his prayers with:

"Dear Father in Heaven, please forgive me for all  my sins today."

I remembered the awkwardness, how I felt, trying to say that in front of my husband. Knowing that I needed to ask the same thing of my Heavenly Father, but I just couldn't do it in front of my husband. I can see now that The Holy Spirit was convicting my hardened heart.

As I pondered these thoughts I looked longingly at my husband. Begging God to heal my hurts and take the walls of my heart down.

I apologized to my husband. I expressed to him that I had been harboring resentment towards him. Resentment, unforgiveness, jealousy, and bitterness. He knew this already and welcomed my apology. But then he started to expound on my faults.....

But.......

God hadn't yet filled my heart with that soothing peace that passes all understanding when you truly repent. I still wasn't "feeling" sorry. Even though I knew the right thing to do and I did it, still God was withholding His grace from me. I know why now, but at the time I was very confused. And so I began to take offense at the words coming from 'the man' sitting across the room from me. A lengthy discussion and then........................Grace.

God had a point to make. God had an arrow He needed to pierce my heart with. 


Once again I am amazed at His ways.

"Do you remember what you did six months ago?" My husband questioned me.

"Yah....... I committed myself completely to God" I spit out. Still feeling defensive.

"Don't you see? You are like a bulls eye. The enemy is aiming directly at you."

Be not deceived my friends. If you have ventured on this road of total abandonment to God with me, be aware. Satan is trying to trip you up. He is trying desperately to lesson your effectiveness in God's Kingdom. Because you are effective! You are making in-roads into enemy territory! You are! We cannot but help it as God's power flows through us. We often do not see our effectiveness because it is the power of God working and not ourselves. We are not working but the Spirit of God within us is doing the work. We are merely submitted vessels that God can and does use. His glory is shining out from us!

Let your Light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.Matthew 5:16



And there it was. Truth began to flood my heart. The Well. Grace. How does God do that? One minute you are feeling like an impregnable fortress, and the next you are melting in the sweet Grace of God. Totally free, totally pure, totally His. Amazing.........

I'm back! It is so good to be walking in the Light again. When we blame those around us for the disgruntled feelings in our hearts it is very easy to miss the Truth. When we justify our thoughts and actions it gives Satan more room to invade our hearts and lead us from the Light. If we find ourselves out of fellowship with our brothers or sisters, and in my recent case my husband, then we must begin to judge ourselves rather than justify ourselves. If you say you walk in the Light and yet hate your brother you are a liar and the truth is not in you. If you speak or think evil of your brother it is the same as murder. Jesus says "love one another just as I have loved you." If you walk in the light as He is in the light you have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin. If  you do not forgive then your heavenly Father will not forgive you. That one always gets me. Ouch! God has zero tolerance for unforgiveness. Just as Christ forgave us, so ought we to forgive one another. When we were dead in our trespasses and sins, Jesus saved us. He didn't wait for us to get our act together. No! He accepted us just the way we were. Glory !!! What kind of people ought we to be? (1John, Matthew, Ephesians, Colossians, 1Peter)

I do admit that it is easier said than done. But once repentance is started and forgiveness is set free in a heart,  who can but be filled with joy! The flood of grace, the deluge of God's love, the peace that only comes from God and emanates outward, God's amazing power toward us who believe! Forgive my friend! Forgive! If you don't, Satan has you, you've given him a foothold. Take back your rightful inheritance as God's child. Forgive and be forgiven.

O Lord! All who turn away from You will be dis-graced. They will be buried in the dust of the earth.For they have abandoned the Lord,The Fountain of Living Water.O Lord if You heal me,I will be healed.If You save me,I will be saved.My praises are for You Alone!!Jeremiah 17:13-14



Walking in God's amazing grace.
Are you coming along?

Renee



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