Heart Surrender

Heart revival. I think of the story I heard somewhere by someone about the person that drew a circle on the floor around themselves and asked God to send revival, starting right there, inside that circle...... I am in that circle.

A lot  has happened in the past 6 months. For many years, I have been battling with one specific area of surrender to God. I can remember saying, "I can't let go." Fooling myself to believe that the reason that I can't let it go is because possibly God is laying this on my heart and it is His will. The most frustrating part of it was that He never seemed to be leading my Godly husband in the same direction.??? I had many days in the deep dark valley of despair questioning myself, my husband and God.

Whatever it is, that you just can't seem to get beyond, whatever it is that just keeps coming back, no matter how many times I gave it to the Lord, it always just crept back up on me. And before I knew it, I was once again in the pit of despair.

Until................. I stepped into that circle.

God has shown me that the reason it never 'stuck' when I 'casted all of my cares on Him' was that I was never fully surrendered to Him. After 16 years faithful church going Christianity, I gave God ALL of me. Wherever, whenever, whatever, however. Jesus use me I am Yours. That kind of surrender. The real deal. Holding nothing back. Eternity fixed in my heart and mind.

God began to work in my heart in ways I always dreamed He would.

And now here I am, musing on the realization that I am free! This weight of despair is gone, and I don't remember when it left! It is like I just totally forgot that I had this nagging burden. It used to plague me and now it is as if it never was! God is soooo AMAZING!!

The issue was total surrender, complete, holding nothing back, and willing to be used any way that God chooses. Not my way, and what I think would be a great thing for God.

I have never known Jesus like this before. Knowing that I am a tool, available for His using, is more exciting than anything I have ever experienced in this world. Life is so far from routine and boring. Everyday I wake up with the thought, "Okay Lord, what are we going to do today!" I am recognizing the spiritual gifts that He has given me, and I am stepping out in faith. And He is using me! I want to encourage you, draw the circle and step your whole heart soul strength mind life into the very center. Lose your life for the sake of the gospel and for Jesus! You will never be the same. Life will be fulfilling and have real meaning and purpose.

I think of a song. I'm not sure who wrote it.

It's all about you, Jesus.
Its not about me, as if you should do things my way.
You alone are God,
and I surrender,
to Your ways.
Jesus, lover of my soul.

Much love to you my friend,
   
Renee

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